caillou

Saturday, 27 September 2008

tomorrow is the day, TOMORROW IS THE DAY! ! ! !

Thursday, 25 September 2008

Z.E.R.O

It is a wonder sometimes how 'certain' others can be so 'zero' in their attitude, inconsiderate and selfish to people who has apologised, took initiative to reconcile - yet they still be persistent in standing on the ego ground, thinking, "Ah...malas lah aku nak reply si deni", or perhaps the many other 1001 different reasons that they choose to possess. You've been given many nights after the tiff (not that I wanted to count the days), yet still no news? Macam kurang ajar gitu kan. People wish you well, yet not even a thanks or maybe a smiley if since your words are too precious for me to get hold of? Think babe, think. For one pathetic, minuscule tiff, it has now been almost 14 days since your silence. You want to isolate me? You, made this matter big.

Friday, 19 September 2008

I forgot how to be alone.

the best song ever, that never fails to make me feel accompanied. this song's my bestfriend!

Really anticipating for the next Sunday to be here, and when it does, I shall wrap Jelly up in this bone-y embrace! Sunday the 28th seems like a long way to go, but I guess I can't be choosy at this. For the past 7 days(!!), I've found myself a new fetish. And as Thesaurus.com suggests, I have a sudden obsessive preoccupation or attachment; a fixation to...my phone's calendar! Been counting down the days and this surely didn't help me in keeping my mind off matters concerning dear Jelly.

I forgot how to be alone.

So next Sunday's the date, no Sunday school, hopefully ma will be kind enough to not ask me along to their weekend outings. Hmm let's see, after tonight, I am left with 9 more solid days! Shall try to occupy myself with butt exercises.

Monday, 15 September 2008

a prisoner in own's mind.

3 down, 13 more days to go.

Saturday, 13 September 2008

things get better, through whatever

Life's been so different the past 24hrs.
Yesterday, together with his parents and his sister, we send Fiz off for his enlistment and boy was it far. He is probably sleeping right now, yeah he should be - stranded in the middle of an island called tekong. His dad drove us to Pasir Ris and we then took a bus to the ferry terminal. And I didn't know we had to scan our identification cards at the ferry terminal pass a gantry, just like ez link you know! Everything went by too fast, just too fast for us to manage. If I knew, I would've pretended to have an aching leg or something just so to slow our pace down and hold his hands longer. Bleargh. At Tekong, we were given a tour around BMTC school. we saw the bunks, the toilets, the training grounds, the canteen (that sell snacks! Super rings included!), the auditorium and I don't wish to remember where else. The mattresses were King Coil! They even have bedsheet laundry service once a week, if I could remember correctly. It certainly was a new experience for me cause I never thought I'd be there, at Tekong, what more explore their bunks! The fans were all at full speed, better than those in classrooms at my secondary school. That was my first time being with his family; apart from the baking session I had at his place with his mum, and the time when I requested for a neck message when I got the air lumps as a result of assignment stress. Unfortunately for me I couldn't join them for break fast, I wanted to go home cause I wasn't feeling myself. Felt a complete loss (though he'll only be gone for 2 weeks) and started crying. I was miserable, and still am. Now I've nobody to run errands with, talk with, cry with, get angry with, sulk with, take pictures with, eat with, watch tv with, and much more.

Thursday, 11 September 2008

without you, I am...

sending bf off tomorrow. His time has come. Hopefully I won't cry - not in front of his parents. Haha. I am gonna miss you.

:'(